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Thursday, September 1, 2011

if i was Arsenal's chef

What a scary start to the season for a team i really admire, Arsenal FC! First they lost 2 of their finest players as Cesc Fabregas returned home to Catalonia to play for his home team, FC Barcelona while Nasri went off to big $$ at FC Ejihad (Mancheter City). Then on the third game of the season, they were totally trounced by one of the rich evil teams, Manchester United, 8-2, the worst defensive showing in a century. However awful that beating was, it  seemed to awaken the board and they went out and bought some new players.  So along comes the cavalry with players coming in from South Korea, Germany, Israel and Spain. The kitchen must respond to accomodate!

So if i was the chef at Arsenal, i would be fermenting cabbages to welcome in 2 of the fine new members of the team. If you want to keep a happy Korean player, the kitchen better be pumping out some high quality kim chee on a regular basis! And for Pers Metsaecker, the imposing German defender, a milder Germanic version of kim chee is of course, sauerkraut, simply cabbage and salt and some caraway seeds to keep him happy with tastes from home.

And Arsenal now has what every team always needs, an old Jew! With 31 year old Israeli Yossi Beanyoin coming in from crosstown rival, Chelsea we better whip out some potato dough, fill it with buckwheat and mushrooms and bake up some knishes for the Israeli newcomer to the team. Serve it up with some of Pers' sauerkraut to help unify the team!

And since young Japanese player Ryo Maichi is now playing in London for Arsenal and hopefully around for the long run so let us get some 2 year miso crocks fermenting to help keep him satisfied.

Yeah, lots fermenting in the Arsenal kitchen for what appear to be a most interesting and long season.

Of course, if i was Arsenal's chef, i would be wondering why the kitchen did not add these new ingredients back in June! :)

1 comment:

  1. Great post, Phil! I like your thinking. Does a soccer (futbol) team have a chef traditionally? If you were their chef, I am certain they would win the world cup.